she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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