when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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