so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
