Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
