I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
