I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
