yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
