Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
