There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize