Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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