Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She needs sedatives and a leash
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
