I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
