i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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