She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
