Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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