Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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