Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I will be naked everywhere
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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