I just saw a hot homeless man
wakey wakey hands off snakey
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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