Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize