There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
