she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
