just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
