He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
