He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize