i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
