It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Randomize
