thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it's like heaven, but drunker
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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