I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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