I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
its not stalking. its research.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
