As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
