I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
