Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
