I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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