I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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