just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
