question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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