Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
