I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
