even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
