shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Apparently you make a good broom.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
