Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
