Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
