I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
