I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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