So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
