well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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