i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
