Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
