You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
