Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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