I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
