in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
