so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
