I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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