This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
