***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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