I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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