Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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