so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
