In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
well you can't waste a boner
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize