I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
