Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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