and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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