I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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