He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
