I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
