Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
