i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize