i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize