I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
