then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
