Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
