is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
