just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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