I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
porn star boner night. come get it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
