i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
